3 Ways to Support Survivors of Domestic Violence
Not Just a Number
“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept. — Angela Davis, U.S. political activist, academic and author”
To the Reader
I am thankful for the opportunity to share my heart, knowledge, and approach when it comes to supporting survivors. It is important to note that I am continuously learning, adapting, and evolving my understanding of supportive care. The words that follow are based on my research and personal experiences, but I encourage you to further your knowledge and experiences outside of this blog. Supporting vulnerable populations is not a one-size-fits-all approach but rather an ethical model prioritizing respect and dignity.
Introduction
In my time in the social service world, I have had the honor to walk alongside the bravest women I know. The weight of grief, which is often hidden, lays heavy on survivors' shoulders from abuse, addiction, neglect, exploitation, and homelessness. Despite the pain and trauma that is faced, they continue to fight for themselves in the hardest seasons of their lives. With our mission of transformational services, it is necessary for us to understand how to best serve survivors with the utmost quality.
Three Ways You Can Support Survivors
Dignity
Have you ever had an extremely long hard day and all you want is your favorite meal, a long bath, and maybe a movie? Just like you and I, survivors have experienced years of this feeling, hoping to find relief. When survivors reach out for help, they dream to leave their life of neglect behind and to create a new life for themselves. Often, the resources that are provided to clients in the system are people's second best. This can look like hand-me-downs, a quickly curated lunch bag, or generalized items that do not work for everyone (such as hair care products and size of clothing).
Oftentimes, resources that are given to survivors, while well intentioned are not dignifying. No one deserves someone's second best as this reiterates the mistruth; “you are not deserving of the best.” When one provides dignifying resources such as new clothes, specific hair care products, decorated rooms, nourishing food, etc., you are reminding survivors they are worthy of the best. When systems, companies, and organizations cannot hear the needs of individuals, basic needs and psychological needs can be neglected. When responding with intentional and dignifying resources to survivors, this reminds individuals that despite what their family, abuser, trafficker, co-worker, and or society has told them, that their needs are worthy of being met.
2. Survivor-Centered Care
According to the United Nations, a survivor-centered approach is one which seeks to empower the survivor by prioritizing their rights, needs, and wishes. When workers establish a relationship with survivors that promotes emotional and physical safety, this in turn encourages a safe space for the survivor to restore control over their own lives. Survivor-centered care ensures that the client is driving, and the worker is taking the passenger seat. “The power and control dynamics of abuse make it hard for people on the outside to understand what is going on, why it’s happening. There are many complex pieces to someone’s life. Because of that, there is simply no way to ever know everything that someone else is going through, has gone through or will go through. There’s no way to know how all their experiences affect them or how those experiences have changed them. Therefore, it is vital to acknowledge that each person is the expert on their own life” (Aubri Black). What if someone feels they are not an expert of their own life? This unfortunately, can be a common result of abuse, trauma, and neglect leaving individuals vulnerable. This even promotes a greater responsibility for us to empower individuals to reclaim, renew, and rekindle their lives.
3. Ongoing supportive care
Transitioning out of crisis is a traumatic experience for anyone; no one should have to walk the steps to stability and healing alone. Ongoing supportive care ensures that individuals are connected to resources that promote long-term stability. Ensuring that survivors are supported through every step can relieve suffering and enhance healthier lives. Every staff member here at City of Refuge and House of Cherith play a vital role in each client's lives. From case managers, dining hall staff, to our personal trainers, our entire team serves by providing intentional and dignifying care.
Conclusion
To the reader of this blog, I hope you will dedicate yourself to finding empathy, love, and bringing forth action for those whom the system has overlooked or misjudged. Your support matters. Your gifts matter. Your dignifying resources matter. Your voice in educating your community matters. Your presence matters. God is for you and with you, and so am I.
- Regan P.